


Where It Hurts

by dandelion_clock



Series: Cry for the Moon [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 11:32:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14953874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelion_clock/pseuds/dandelion_clock
Summary: Dumbledore.The gnarled old bird. Come to squawk over his final moments. To cluck and strut.





	Where It Hurts

Sirius Black looks up at the ceiling and expresses his feelings. _'Fuck.'_  
'Not the most profound sentiment,' says a gentle voice behind him. 'But understandable, certainly.' 

_Dumbledore._ The gnarled old bird. Come to squawk over his final moments. To cluck and strut. 

'I'm not awake,' Sirius says out loud. 'And I have nothing to say.'  
'Evidently.'  
Sirius groans and sits up. 'Don't you have a school to run?'  
'I thought you might like to explain yourself.'  
Sirius cracks a humourless laugh. 'A good old villainous monologue?'  
'Or you could simply tell me the truth.'  
'You know the truth. You testified yourself.' He surprised to hear himself sounding so bitter. He didn't care that much at the time. Dumbledore's testimony just one surreal detail in the whole almost farcical nightmare.  
'In nineteen eighty-one,' Dumbledore says calmly, 'I told the Wizengamot that you were the Potter's secret keeper. That doesn't explain why, twelve years later, you escaped from Azkaban.'  
'The decor was a little depressing,' Sirius says incredulously. _'Seriously?'_  
'Why wait until now?'  
'It's the first time I got lucky.'  
'And why come to Hogwarts? You could be somewhere in South America.'  
Sirius knows this one. 'To kill Harry.'  
'That,' Dumbledore says agreeably, 'is what the Ministry believes. And yet, after providing you with several opportunities to, er, kill him, Harry is still very much alive.'  
He'd forgotten what a pest the old man can be. 'I don't know what you want from me.'  
'Sirius, do you understand what's going to happen next?'  
'I don't want to talk about it.'  
'This could be the last chance you ever have - '  
'You wouldn't believe me!'  
'Try me.' 

It feels like some kind of horrible joke, only Sirius can't remember what the punchline is. 'Peter Pettigrew was the Potter's secret-keeper,' he intones dully. 'He betrayed Lily and James, he never died, he's an unregistered animagus, and Ronald Weasley has been keeping him as a pet.' 

There's a short silence, during which Sirius stares at the floor. Maybe Dumbledore will leave now, and then he can be Padfoot. Padfoot will be afraid, of course, but he won't be able to think so much. Can howl a littleat the moon, perhaps. 

'You don't expect me to believe you,' Dumbledore says.  
It's not a question, merelya statement, and Sirius can't disagree with him. But, before he can stop himself, he says, 'Remus did.'  
It slips out, just like that, because apparently he can't stop thinking about it. Remus believes that he's innocent. _Remus._  
'Did he, indeed?' Dumbledore says. His voice is surprised but also startlingly cold.  
'Not until tonight,' Sirius says hurriedly. 'He didn't know anything, he hasn't been helping me. But last night he saw Peter and he...I didn't even have to tell him.' He still can't really get his head round it. 'He just figured it out.' 

_Remus._

Remus who hates him, Remus who _left._ Remus who packed his suitcase and walked out. Who never wrote to him, who barely even _spoke_ to him, after that. 

'You didn't expect him to believe you either,' Dumbledore says. He sounds… _curious,_ more than anything else. His eyes, sharp and inscrutable, are fixed on Sirius's face.  
'No,' Sirius says. 'But he...' 

It hurts. Why does it hurt so much? He's had thirteen years to get over this. But tonight he held Remus in his arms.Just for a brief, uncomfortable moment, their bodies too gaunt and their edges too sharp. But Remus's eyes, when he stepped away, were the ones that Sirius still dreams about. Forget-me-not blue and so, so sure. 

Not needing Sirius to explain anything. 

As if he's been waiting. 

Sirius looks at Dumbledore. There's a strange expression on the old man's face. Something uncharacteristically vague as if he, too, has retreated a little into his own head. 

'How do I make you believe me?' Sirius asks. Because suddenly it matters. 

Because, suddenly, nothing has ever mattered so much. 

'Ah.' Dumbledore is back in the room, adjusting his spectacles on his narrow nose. 'The trick, as I understand it,' he says thoughtfully, 'is to believe yourself.' 

Sirius takes a deep breath. 

Remus believes him. 

Harry believes him. 

'Peter Pettigrew was the Potter's secret-keeper.' 

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully it's obvious but this takes place between chapters 20 ( _The Dementor's Kiss_ ) and 21 ( _Hermione's Secret_ ) of _The Prisoner of Azkaban_.


End file.
